do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
