Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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