small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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