I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
