You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just google imaged poop.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize