my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
