We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
