Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
