he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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