it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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