There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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