so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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