I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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