Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
