I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
