3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
