The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
