It was confusing and full of hummus
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
