Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
