You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
