He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
