it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize