hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
