Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
