I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
