I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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