Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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