this beer tastes like vomit already
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
