found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
