Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize