I must be too annoying 4 u.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
