He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
