Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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