Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
