where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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