I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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