I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
