okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
