is wine microwaveable?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize