I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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