Kiss
Puke
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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