i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you win again, gameday.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
