Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
