She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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