So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
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