i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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