Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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