I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
