yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
