i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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