She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize