you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
