Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize