Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
