i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
