I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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