I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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