I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
