I hate your face
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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