Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
