Soap is not a condiment
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
