You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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