Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
